Did you ever wish your life was like a Woody Allen movie? Conversations would be full of effective, sarcastic, one-liners. You'd be free to view the world from that detached and cynical perspective - and what's more, people would pay you loads in notoriety for it.

Deep down, however, secret fears your wife was leaving you for another man would emotionally cripple you. Or you'd be dating a sixteen year old girl.